Ok so most of you don't know but I pay rent at my mom's now, because I'm 19 and told my mom that I wanted to start contributing to the family fund by paying her to live there...
Ok so I got my last paycheck for a while at my CPS job recently, and because I don't have my fingerprint card, I'm not getting hours there again for a while. It's 5 for the card (7 actually since it's two dollars for the money order), and 69 for them to send it off to the government to certify me as a caregiver.
Well... I thought I had more money than I did. I lent $80 to my boyfriend which he can't pay back till next month (I told him that was ok too cause I trust him and he's always been good to pay back the money), and bought a couple of small things online, as well as a few big things while I was out on my anniversary on Sunday (spend $80)... so now after rent I'm left with $63 in the bank....fuck.... first snag.

Seconds later after doing calculations I realized the worst part of this situation; I forgot to set aside my tithe and offering.... I know to some of you that doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me it is. On every paycheck I get, I give the Lord 10% in tithe plus offering as a "thank you for the job" to Him, and thus far He has blessed me in this job and handed to me on a silver platter...now I can't give Him what is His and His gift, and I feel terrible... I feel like I'm betraying Him and His love... I know He won't smite me or anything for not doing it, but that's not the point. If you forget to give your parent a birthday gift or even just to call them and thank them, do you feel scared they're going to kill you, or just guilty because you forgot? Exactly...

So now I'm sitting here wanting to cry, and I'm not sure what to do yet... I mean... I don't know... I could give Him the tithe and offering over the next couple months on my other job's salary, but would that really be ok? And still what about my card?

What I'm hoping to do is tomorrow head up to Mesa and once Parker returns a faulty controller and cord to the place we bought it from, he can cover my card, I can still pay rent, and I give God His money over the next few months. I've done it before when money was really tight...I don't like to do it though... I like to give him the first and best of my crop, not the last of what I can scrape together...

One thing's for sure...one I get another check from my CPS job, God's getting a great big offering. I love him, and I want to make it up to him. Yes, I know He doesn't need my money, but He gave me the job, He has kept me safe in an unsafe working condition, and He deserves the best.


***EDIT***

Ok so I just talked to my uncle (who's driving my boyfriend and I to the place for our fingerprints and stuff), and he said he's willing to stop at the store Parker bought the controller from first so that we can return it (and Parker already planned to give me all the money he got back), so that's a huge relief. I'll then pay God what is owed to Him (+++) over the next couple of months. I know He won't let me down, so I'm sorry I did to Him...and I'm going to make it up to Him.
In other news, I used Pandora for the first time today. Omgosh I love it...It's amazing how much your mood can turn around with the right music in five minutes. Now I'm ready to kill this report and kick ass in my work.


Oh...and no more ramen for me; the cat ate it.